


And The Bible Didn’t Mention Us

by WeAreStarStuff



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Gen, M/M, Preslash I guess, Reverse!Omens, angel!Crowley, cat demon! Aziraphale, do not repost to another site, plenty of pining and flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:54:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21890764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeAreStarStuff/pseuds/WeAreStarStuff
Summary: Zedekiel is a malcontent Angel who has recently been posted on earth. Az is his demonic counterpart on earth.But something doesn’t feel right about this whole set up.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 28





	And The Bible Didn’t Mention Us

Night was falling over SoHo, and in a strange little bookshop on Greek Street, Zedekiel, the proprietor and the Principality of London was settling in for the night. 

It had been a long day of rebuilding this rundown nightmare into respectable establishment, and Zedekiel was asking himself not for the first time, why he had decided to go into rare book dealing of all things. A Disney copyright lawyer felt more his speed if he was honest. Though Gabriel had recommended tearing the place down and building clothing boutique and if he was honest, he could definitely make high fashion work for him.

But there was just something sacrilegious about the thought. So he usually told his higher ups that selling books was a pious occupation and ideal for Angelic work. Well, actually he wasn’t sure about the selling part either. Something about it just made his stomach feel cold. 

He picked up a book left haphazardly on a side table that was probably purchased during the regency era. Zedekiel sighed. Whoever was stationed here before him clearly hadn’t cleaned anything here in decades. 

Still there was one good thing about having his new post. 

“Honestly Angel, anyone why do you insist on books if you hate them so?” The aforementioned “good thing” flowed in between the Angel’s wards with a fluidity that only those of a feline nature could accomplish. 

[[MORE]]

Zedekiel tried not to smile at his nemesis though he knew himself well enough to know that they both would be in stitches by the end of the night. Damn him. Again.

His vessel was soft and charming. his eyes were big and blue with vertical pupils. And his ears that stuck out of his white blond hair were sharp and pointed like the cat he was. 

Zedekiel knew there was now a fifty-fifty chance of either an awesome fight or an intense philosophical debate. Either way his night just got better.

Zedekiel flicked his wrist and a kettle in the back whistled. 

“I don’t actually hate books, Az.” Zedekiel said, placing two delicate bone China cups on the table. “Is tea alright? I could get you a nice saucer of cream if you prefer.”

The demon glared at him... glarefully. “You think you’re so funny don’t you? I’m afraid falling has left me mildly lactose intolerant. Black with no sugar, if you please.”

Zedekiel obliged him.“Tea first. Plenty of time to kick your arse after.”

“You? Beat me? Whatever helps you sleep at night, my dear angel.” He took a sip and literally purred. 

Zedekiel rested his chin on his fist and leaned towards his guest, “I don’t get you, fiend.” He said, “the other day you were happy to throw down with me and tonight you’re the paragon of manners.”

“That was at a Tesco. I wouldn’t dream of harming you here. Besides, think of the books. You might not care for them but I do.”

For a demon, Az tended to adhere to strange sort of morality. Zedekiel found it kinda endearing if he was honest. 

“Good to know you have respect for the written word.”

“Respect? My dear boy I revere it. Worship it even! Fear not, Angel. Whatever my personal feelings about you may be, I swear upon my honor that no harm shall come to you, or your treasure trove of human knowledge. This place is, shall we say Neutral ground.”

Zedekiel snorted. “That’s a pretty speech you did there. Though if you love books so much, why is it that _you_ don’t have a shop?”

“Why indeed.” Az said, so softly Zedekiel almost couldn’t hear. “Anyway, down to brass tacks!” He clapped his hands. “have you considered what we discussed from our last little tête-à-tête?”

Zedekiel sighed, so that’s why he was here. “Indeed I have. And I have to agree to your terms. London is such a big city with so many people. It would be irresponsible not to come to some sort of nonaggression treaties.” Not that he thought Az would go around hurting people but when angels and demons butted heads … there tended to be a very large splash zone so to speak. And in crowded places like this, people end up getting hurt. No matter what their intentions were. Truly, their fights were better left out in wide open countrysides. 

Az beamed “Glad we’re in agreement.”

They shook on it. 

The night progressed and they had moved on from tea to something stronger. Apparently the previous Principality had been a complete lush, because there was alcohol for centuries in the back room. Something Zedekiel only felt a little guilty about taking advantage of. Whatever happened to the last angel, he clearly wouldn’t be needing it now. 

At some point Az had migrated on to his lap and curled into a ball while he scratched behind his soft little kitty ears. If the purring was anything to go by, he was pretty blissed out. Open. _Vulnerable_. A proper angel would have driven a holy blade into his chest in this moment of weakness. 

But something in him just couldn’t. Call him a pathetic angel for it, but he never was one for violence. Real violence that is. The good natured sparring he and Az got up to was actually kind of… invigorating. There was nothing quite so breathtaking as his demon straddling his chest with a cursed blackened sword against throat. 

Yeah, he might have it bad. God help him. 

“Zedekiel dear, do ever get the feeling that we’ve done this before?”

Before he could answer, there was a banging on his door and Az was a fetching Persian hiding in the shadows where he would never be found until he was ready to be seen. 

  


“Zedekiel! You in?” Called a bombastic voice from outside. Gabriel. The very worst person to show up. To call Gabriel eager would be to say Lucifer might have tripped and taken a teensy bit of a tumble. Zedekiel groaned and sobered up. 

“Door’s open!”

Zedekiel didn’t know why he even bothered. Gabriel had already bounded across his threshold. Oh well, at least he learned to knock. Only took him a year. 

“Zed! How’s the new bookshop coming along?”

“Zedekiel sir, and as about as well as to be expected. It’s doubtful the last agent ever cleaned this place.” 

“Yes well, the last angel was posted here left a lot to be desired. He deserved far worse than he got if you ask me. But you. we have great expectations for you. You were the mastermind behind that Bake off show. We just can’t wait to see what you’ll get up to next!”

Zedekiel resisted the urge to laugh. Odds are the big wigs upstairs just didn’t know what to do with him. He heard the words “off putting” and “not to be trusted” about him more than once. 

“All the same. I think I would like to have a look at his reports. It might offer some insights into this world that I might not think of otherwise. Besides I can’t deny I am curious.”

Gabriel smiled blandly. “I’m afraid his records have been long since expunged. Don’t look so down. Besides don't humans have lovely expression about curiosity killing cats?

“Oh! Speaking of cats, there’s a demon called Az wandering around London. Apparently he’s to be your counterpart on earth. Have you met him yet?”

Zedekiel felt uneasy with the blatant lie. Or maybe uneasy with how easy it felt. “No sir.”

“Well when you do, I want him brought to me alive. I’m going to declaw that pretty kitty and keep him in a carrier on my desk for eternity.”

Gabriel clapped a hand on his shoulder. Well, I’ve got work to get back to. Glad to see you’re settling in. Keep in touch Zed!” 

And then he was gone. 

“You let him call you Zed?” Asked the fluffy Persian from the top of a bookshelf. 

“Yeah well it’s Gabriel you can never get a word in with that wanker.”

“I’m starting to remember that about him.”

“Also, he _hates_ you. Like really hates you. What did you even do to him?”

“I have no idea. I don’t think I’ve ever met him before. But I intend to find out. I would greatly appreciate your help in this.”

“No. I’m angel. I can’t just go around helping _demons_. Besides they don’t even like me up there! What am I supposed to say? ‘_Hi guys, what’s up? care to dish out the gos on Gabriel and this one particular demon_?”

Az had changed back into a humanoid form at some point, but his eyes were just as blue and large and his face was just as sweet as his feline form. 

How is it that a demon could look more soft and innocent than an actual angel of the lord. Unfair is what it was. 

  


“Oh well, if you’re not going to help me then you’re not going to help me. Best be off then.” 

He looked back with a foot out the door, “oh and by the way, about what Gabriel said about curiosity killing cats? That’s not the whole expression. It’s curiosity killed the cat, but Satisfaction brought it back. Well I better get going. Thanks for the tea.”

And Zedekiel was alone. With no one but some books and his own questions for company. 

  


***

They next met at the Tate Modern. 

  


“I Don’t get it. It’s just blue.” Zedekiel said, not looking away from the painting.

  


“Says here this fellow made nearly two hundred of these paintings.”

  


“Do you reckon if we put all of them together they might spell out some secret message?”

  


“Apparently He considered this colour had a quality close to “pure space” and associated it with immaterial values beyond what can be seen or touched.”

  


“Humans. Who’s to say what goes on in those funny little brains.”

  


“Is abstract art one of yours or ours?” 

  


“I think they made it up themselves. Like that dreadful antivax movement.”

  


“Americans. So hipster they’re even bringing back smallpox.”

  


“You downstairs just gave me a commendation for that? Ridiculous. I’ve only been topside for a few years. I couldn’t possibly have had time.” 

  


“Yeah, about that, I stopped by records upstairs the other day.”

  


“Oh Angel,”

  


Don't look at me like that I just wanted to research my new post a bit. Nothing to do with you.”

  


“I wouldn’t dream of implying otherwise.”

  


“Yeah well, Gabriel was right. All records about my predecessor have been completely expunged.”

  


Az sighed. “A dead end then.”

  


“Well that’s just it. I decided to look into my own file and there’s no records of me before 2019. The day I awoke in Raphael’s infirmary.”

  


“Well that’s not right. _You’re in the Bible._ You stopped Abraham from killing his son. I saw it. I know I saw it.” 

  


“And I remember doing it.”

  


“You know it’s strange, I stopped by infernal records myself the other day. Apparently there’s paper trail for Demon Az before September of 2019 either. And no authorization signature for my fall either.” Apparently I was just there one day.”

  


“But that’s impossible! No one falls without Raguel’s signature!” 

  


“That’s what I had thought. But there I was one day. And then I was shuffled off to the office of Satan himself to sign contracts. I signed my name on the dotted line, and he took it. Standard hell procedure.”

  


“I don’t like this.” If someone upstairs was felling Angels under the table then… he dared not finish the thought. “Okay, Top Cat, you win.” 

  


“Oh?”

  


“I agree to helping you. At least until we figure out what’s going on. Then it’s back to killing each other. Capisce?”

  


“Oh I wouldn’t dream of killing you. At least not permanently. You’re far too pretty.”

  


“Wait. You think I’m pretty?”

  


The demon had the nerve to laugh. _Laugh. At him. _

  


“I’d best be off, my dear Angel.”

  


“Oi! Devil! Wait!”

  


“Au revoir, darling!” 

  


“Wait!”


End file.
